I Am Not the Boss of You

I Am Not the Boss of You - National I Am In Control Day

YAY, a day for us feeling like we are the boss our lives!

Every year I am in Control Day is observed on March 30th!

I still remember telling my kids what they needed to do and their reply was “You are not the boss of me!” We all want to feel in charge!

Sometimes we think others’ happiness is our responsibility. We do everything to make sure our spouses, children and boss are happy. We feel guilty if they are not happy and try to do more and more. We feel like we have failed if there is any conflict because they are not happy.

Sometimes we get mixed up and feel responsible for too many people and take on their challenges.

Ask yourself: Am I responsible for others or am I responsible to others?

When I feel responsible FOR others


  • direct
  • fix
  • control
  • carry their feelings (the good, bad and the ugly)
  • don’t always listen

I feel…

  • anxious
  • responsible
  • obligated
  • accountable

I care about…

  • answers
  • the solution
  • being right
  • details
  • not failing
I feel a sense of guilt.

I worry until things are just “right.”

I don’t feel happy or content in the moment until they are happy.

When I feel responsible TO others


  • show empathy
  • am compassionate
  • support
  • share
  • fully listen

I feel…

  • at ease
  • mindful
  • valued
  • at peace
  • free

I care about…

  • feelings
  • the person and myself
  • connecting person to person
I am a helper/ guide.

I believe the other person is resourceful, whole and creative and has enough to make it.

I expect the person to be responsible for their feelings and their actions.

I am not responsible for other’s  feelings or happiness.

I do not fail.

I learn from conflict. I know conflict is growth.

I am in control of MY life!

Notice if you are responsible for others or to others. Notice your feelings! Being responsible to others is a step to your inner peace and serenity. Your happiness is waiting! Start today!

Remember as Sonya Friedman tells us, “The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.”


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