Watch Your Thoughts They Become Your Life

Published in Positivity by Chere Bork MS, RDN on October 25, 2013

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“It’s been a long trying work week…I’m tired of not being respected or appreciated. My boss does not empower anyone to make decisions.” Sound familiar? When I asked Mary what she did want she was so fried she could not come up with an answer! Exasperated she exclaimed, “I know I don’t want this!”

zach wedding — My darling, lovable nephew Zachary and I were making a pizza together. He said, “Aunt Chere, I don’t want olives! I don’t want sausage! I don’t want …” “Zachary what do you want?” “I only want cheese!”
I wanted to say, Zach why didn’t you say that in the first place!

The law of attraction has only three steps:

Identify what you desire.
Give your desire attention.
Allow it to happen.

Sounds pretty easy? Well maybe not. Most people are not great at knowing what they want, but they are fantastic at knowing what they don’t want.

You may be shocked to learn that knowing what you don’t want is excellent news. “Contrast”

Is a distinction learned from Jerry and Esther Hicks. Applying it to the Law of Attraction – it is anything you don’t like, causes you to be crabby or frustrated or just doesn’t feel good. The minute you identify something in your life that feels like contrast and you spend time complaining about it offering a negative vibration. The Law of Attraction then responds to your negative vibration by giving you more of the same. You can only hold one vibration at a time, positive or negative.

Diane, a highly successful entrepreneur came to the coaching call desiring an intimate relationship with a man. She complained, “I’m bored. I’m passionate about work but I don’t want to go to movies alone. I don’t want to eat by myself. My phone doesn’t ring unless I call someone.” She had a big list of contrast.

When you observe the contrast you become crystal clear what you do want. But don’t spend a lot of time focusing on what you don’t want because you could stay stuck there; like being unhappily married for 25 years or being stuck in an unrewarding job for 20 years. The least amount of time you spend putting your attention, focus and energy towards contrast the better.

Mary’s Contrast Through Clarity

I attract to my life what I focus my energy, attention and focus to, whether positive or negative.

Contrast – What I don’t want Clarity – What I do want

Lack of goals Big picture with overall goals & strategies

60 hour work week 50 hour work week

Not being respected Being respected

Dual standards Fair standards, using guidelines & being accountable

Sarcastic work environment Positive pleasant work environment

The more contrast you identify, the more clarity you generate. Pick an area in your life that frustrates you and you want to change. On the left create a list over several days of what you don’t want. Michael Losier my Law of Attraction trainer recommends a list of 50 to 100 items. After you create the left “Contrast,” ask yourself, “What do I want?” and complete the “Clarity” the right side.

On January 3, 2013, Mary and I created her contrast through clarity worksheet. Nine months later, I am over the moon happy that she reported she has a new manager. She described it as going from a dark room to sunshine. She reports she doesn’t feel judged anymore and has received everything on her clarity list, plus more. There is not right or wrong way to think but whatever you give your focus, energy and time to eventually does take control of your life. Focus on becoming rather than overcoming because that is what you can happily create! What have you created? We would love to hear.

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