Taste Life Blog

I just returned from a 10 day trip to Milwaukee, savoring time with my cherished family.

We celebrated my Dad’s 81st birthday, Zach’s birthday, and also I attended Hannah’s dance recital. We biked, walked, and by far the number one activity was talking about nothing and everything. I moved away from my family 28 years ago. I feel so loved when I am there that on the car trip back the first hour or so I struggle with tears and thoughts of “Chere why did you move away from your family?” After one of the longest road trips of my life, with a literal standstill on the freeway for one whole hour, I finally made it home. Within minutes of arriving home, my neighbor Julie yelled, “Welcome Home!” I went into my house and kept asking myself, “Is Eden Prairie really my home? Where is my home?”

Within a day of being home, friends started to call and asked me to hang out with them.

For days, I continued to noodle on the question, “Where is my home?” Everyone longs to be connected and loved. In fact, several studies have concluded that at the end of life only two questions are most important to people: Did I give love and did I receive love?

Brilliant Martin Seligman Ph.D., author of Authentic Happiness, studied the lifestyles and personalities of the happiest people. He studied 222 college students and measured happiness rigorously using six different scales. He then focused on the happiest ten percent. The “very happy” people differed from average people and unhappy people in one key way: a rich and fulfilling social life. The very happy people spent the least time alone and the most time socializing. They are also rated highest on good relationships by themselves and also by their friends. Research also suggests that more happiness actually causes more productivity and a higher income. Happier people receive better evaluations and higher pay. Many other studies show that happy people have more close and casual friends, are more likely to be married and are involved in more group activities than unhappy people.

Close relationships can act as medicine. Study after study has shown that relationships and social support are crucial and can even influence cancer and heart disease. It makes sense. We are social human beings so in order to live a whole healthy life we need to be connected to community.

When you intentionally create your best life you automatically get more tuned into the quality of your relationships. Relationships are an investment of your time and energy so you need to invest wisely. Energizing high quality relationships make you feel good about yourself. So, what makes a high quality relationship? Take this test and find out.

Create your community. Plan some time to just hang out with people. Get together to talk, take a walk or a bike ride. Remember hanging out does not always have to involve food. Relationships take time. You cannot move from an acquaintance to friend without spending time together. Make key relationships a higher priority and you will see your life satisfaction and happiness rocket up.

I feel invested in healthy relationships in Minneapolis. Despite living 300 miles away from my family, Minneapolis is my home, where I am surrounded by people whom I love and who love me back. Don’t let a busy “media absorbed day” take away all your time and attention from what really matters. Your challenge: reconsider your choices on how and with whom you invest your time. I would love to hear more about your relationship investments in the comments area below. With a smile, Chere!