Taste Life Blog

If you are like the average American, you make about 500 to 2,000 acquaintances throughout the year through work, volunteer and fun activities. Core friends, the ones you see regularly and know their first name average about 20 to 100. Intimate relationships where you share your most personal stuff usually involve 1 to 7 people at a time.

We found out Gary has amazing friends.  While working on the deck Gary fell on the wet grass this summer and ripped his quadriceps tendon off his knee. He had surgery and two days later his dad died. After Gary’s surgery we were gratefully amazed at his friends that came to support him.

His caring athletic twin friends, Scott and Tim Thoma, came to work on our deck floor on boiling hot days. Our perfectionist carpenter friend, Gary Bendzick, happily finished off the deck floor.Our “can do” nurse neighbor, Julie Zablowski, joyfully changed his dressing and took care of our life when his dad died. Always happy artist and friend, Georgia Kandiko and her Triathlator husband Joe, surprised us with a visit and a blueberry pie.

Are your key acquaintances and friends helping or hurting your personal and work life? As the book of Proverbs says, “A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kinds of friends he chooses.”

Here is a quick energy tool from my presentation “Nothing is Wrong but Something is Missing – Top Ten Relationship Tips to Love your Life”

My Team Relationship Inventory

Spend time only with people who demonstrate love and respect for you.

Quick, think of 10 people in your life…write their names down.

Now ask yourself, do they support you 100% unconditionally?

Simplify your personal relationships using MY TEAM.

Many years ago there were tribes. Tribes usually had 20 people in them.  Everyone felt connected and supported. Today, we could meet 20 new people in one day. Having too many people in our lives can be draining and deplete our reserves of time, money, physical energy, and emotional energy.

MY TEAM OF THIRTY

My Team should consist of thirty people who are 100% supportive of what you do and say and are completely non-judgmental. I have found most clients can effectively “manage” 30 people in their life without feeling drained.

ACTION STEPS:

Make a list of all the people in your life.

First circle:  Daily Relationships

Record 10 people’s names that you cannot live without.  Maybe you don’t see them every day but they are constantly in your heart and love you unconditionally. Does your sister give you unconditional support?  Blood relatives are not necessarily on your team if you feel like they judge you.

Second circle: Five years from now

Record 10 people’s names’ that you must have in your life 5 years from now in the middle circle. Do you want your neighbor or work colleague in your life 5 years from now?

Third circle:

Record 10 people’s names in the outer circle; you decide why they are in your outer  circle. Do you want your last circle to be full of fun people? Gail, a coaching client, labeled this group “Fun not required.”

Congratulations, you now have your list of your top 30 people who are your best energy investments, who support you without judgment and unconditionally. Your relationships will either propel you forward or keep you stuck.  Give your energy and love to the people who support you 150%.  I never heard a resume read at a funeral did you? Will your boss or manager come and visit your bedside and thank you for working so hard. And remember, if they judge you can they really love you?

Call to Action: “What do my closest relationships say about who I am and where I’m going?”  How do they support me to where I am going? Do they accept me for who I am and what I do without judgment?

Let us know how you have created supportive relationships that have energized  your life and you could win a $10.00 Starbucks gift card.

You only have one life to live, just imagine if it was one you absolutely loved with people who you love who love you back unconditionally.