Taste Life Blog

“Live like this is your last day, someday it will be!” Funny how we think this doesn’t apply to us.  What is it like to live like you are going to die? My sweet brother-in-law, Dave, knows. On January 28, 2014 he was given 5 months to live. He surprised us all when 110 days later on May 16^th he passed away; sixty years young. We saw him five days before his death, as he lay in his bed in the darkened dining room that was now his bedroom; he spoke about his two favorite subjects – the Packers and the Brewers. Gary and I felt so badly for him. To manage his breathing, he had to lay on his right side instead of sitting in his favorite chair and watch TV. No TV. Nothing to do but think and think some more.  Maybe Dave was lucky as he was given an expiration date. No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there.

If you were given five months to live what would you do differently? If nothing changed in the next five years would that be okay?  Would you have regrets? I have some “Dave regrets.” I stopped at Byerly’s and bought four little desserts including one cream puff to take to Dave’s.  We sat in the kitchen eating them and he could hear us talking about them.  After we left he asked for a cream puff.  Sadly, it was all eaten.  If only I would have known.  But, I have an even bigger regret. I did not tell Dave I loved him. Little did I know my goodbye would be my last forever.  I should be telling everyone I love them every time I leave them.

Shoulds are lost opportunities. Researchers surveyed people close to death due to terminal illness. Here are their four biggest regrets:

Not having invested more in important relationships.  Dying people had big regrets they put work over their family and friends. Action: Do you create time for the top five people in your life? Can they tell?

Not having honestly and respectfully expressed their feelings. How many times have you kept quiet to keep the peace at home or work.  But doing so eventually undermines your physical, mental and emotional health leading to bitterness and much resentment. Action: Speak your truth with respect and live in integrity. I can help you do that once we identify your personal needs.

Not choosing to be happy. Happiness is your choice, not a matter of your luck or circumstance.  When you get dressed in the morning, get dressed in happiness too.

Not having lived their own lives. If you are living someone else’s life you are forfeiting your own. Of all the regret, this was the one most often mentioned. Action: Identify your values. They are like your “north star” or compass that direct your life. They are burning passions that stem from your heart. When they are honored they bring you joy and life satisfaction.

The good news is we don’t need to be told like Dave that we are going to die. We already know that. So maybe today focus on your death and that will really make you want to live to choose happiness, honor your values and hang out with people that love you the most. There are worse things than dying – not living while you have the chance. Here to help.