Taste Life Blog

Originally Posted on Eden Prarie News

A few years back I won the volunteer of the year award from the Minnesota chapter of the National Speaker Association. Gary, my darling husband, named it the “I can’t say no award.” I will admit I am not great at saying “no.”  But I am getting better since I discovered planned abandonment.

The holiday frenzy is here and where are we going to find the time for the shopping, baking and cooking, family events and social responsibilities (a new spin on the word parties). Often, we are so busy getting “ready” for the holidays we don’t really enjoy, let alone savor the season. It often feels like we are saying “yes” to everyone but ourselves. This year can be different when you consciously practice planned abandonment.  (I know you are going to love this idea.)

Planned abandonment is a term coined by Frances Hesselbein, former CEO of the Girl Scouts, past president of the Drucker Foundation and founder of the Frances Hesselbein Leadership Institute.

It is deliberately abandoning even the good things in our lives so we can focus on a few priorities.  Why is planned abandonment a good thing? Because sometimes things we have done for years are just habits, rather than real priorities – especially during the holidays. Like baking 10 different kinds of cookies, always hosting the neighborhood get together because no one else offers or saying “yes” to an annual holiday party you are bored at and would rather be sitting at home alone in your jammies eating cookie dough. And let’s not even think about the guilt of sending a holiday card to everyone that sends you one.

At one time they may have been a priority for you, but your life has changed and you have not stopped to reevaluate them. We need to set our priorities above our habits. We need to make a habit of our priorities. A huge difference! By adopting this idea of planned abandonment you can say to yourself, “I can stop doing this now, without disappointment or guilt.”

Looking back, I used to slave in the kitchen and bake ten kinds of cookies and an assortment of candies. I remember one year when Danielle and Brett were little, being frustrated and totally frazzled when I had to stop baking spritz cookies to rush to get to the Holidazzle parade on time. Not exactly savoring the holidays. When I embrace planned abandonment I feel content baking the family’s favorite cookie, peanut blossoms (they like the raw dough better than baked…yuck), and a double batch of peanut butter cups.   The bonus that comes out of planned abandonment is it makes room for new beginnings that have meaning in life.

My wish for you is to stop and consider planned abandonment so you can truly feel the joyful spirit of this holiday season. Why? Abandoning things today creates the space for your possibilities of tomorrow. What are you waiting for? The best holiday season of your life is waiting for you when you decide you want “purposeful possibilities.” Gift yourself planned abandonment and you can create the most memorable holiday season of your life. Better get busy!