What do to when life sucks

Gary and I were excited to have the holidays behind us as I was extremely concerned about being with so many people and all the extra noise and light to deal with the concussion I suffered on November 20th.

Dark quiet rooms really helped and I was proactive taking naps. So different for me to lie down by myself when there are family members to talk to. Every home I stayed at turned off the televisions and refrained from playing any Christmas music. I am surprised that seven weeks later noise continues to give me a headache. On December 29th we received another “surprise.” Gary missed the last basement step while carrying down his physical therapy equipment and tore his quadriceps tendon, for the second time. He grimaced in pain as he lay on the couch but there was unimaginable pain when he realized he could not lift his leg off the couch. The pain of realizing he tore the same tendon knowing what the recovery meant. Surgery. Seven weeks of total leg brace. Physical therapy for 4 to 5 months. I played nurse-dietitian Chere-wife for a week after Gary’s surgery. Gary follows rules. When he is told, “ice for 20 minutes on and 40 minutes off,” our life is on a timer. We were also on another timer for pain meds every four hours. There were all kinds of timers going off. I would get confused and get the ice pack out of the freezer only to realize it was time for the ice pack to come off his knee!

For the 33rd year in a row Gary surprised me with a dozen roses. I act surprised but secretly wait for  them and hope there are fragrant lilies amongst the roses. This year there were!
For the 33rd year in a row Gary surprised me with a dozen roses. I act surprised but secretly wait for
them and hope there are fragrant lilies amongst the roses. This year there were!

During this time our favorite day popped up – January 2nd – our 33rd anniversary. I asked him what he wanted to do and he replied we could do two things – rent a movie or watch TV. I felt like crying, eating chocolate or drinking red wine. I wanted all three. A rarity…a Friday night anniversary and my hair even looked good for a change. But all he could do was lie on our couch. I announced to Gary that our life sucks. I prodded, “Gary does our life suck?” We missed Christmas and now we are missing the entire winter and were waiting for June! I begged him to say our life sucks. But no, just like usual, Gary never gets riled up no matter what. He just stared ahead and didn’t answer!

It took me a day of stewing. He told me later I was in a funk on our anniversary. I was actually enjoying constantly belting out, “Our life sucks.” I realized the more I thought about my life sucking the more it sucked. As a Law of Attraction coach I know what we focus on gets bigger and bolder. I got out of my funk when I realized I was nourishing my sucky life and attracting more sucky things. My sucky beliefs were creating my sucky life!

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What you focus on gets bigger and bolder. Funny when I told myself life would be ok it was ok. When I told myself life sucked it sucked!
What you focus on gets bigger and bolder. Funny when I told myself life would be ok it was ok. When I told myself life sucked it sucked!

Shakespeare says, “Nothing good, nothing bad…it is your thinking that makes it so.” We both fell. We both got injured. Stuff happens to good people. We can be fixed. What you think, determines your life. Change your beliefs change your life! Try it you have nothing to lose but your old tired thoughts. Try it when you want to lose your sucky life.

 

Foot note…we are actually enjoying being home every night together. But I am really tired of NCIS and Hawaii Five O. He is enjoying time on the computer planning his summer raft trip. You have one life to live, just imagine it was one you loved!

6 thoughts on “What do to when life sucks”

  1. Hi friend! Goodness me. I am so sorry to hear of your numerous mishaps. First of all, I want you to know that we all miss our Chere Berry in the pool. It’s not the same without you splashing all over the place. The month of January has been a rough one for me too. The little darlings (grandsons) have been passing over all kinds of yucy things: flu, colds, conjunctivitis and hand, foot and mouth disease as of late! Been home in bed more than out and about but this too shall pass. Oh yes, forgot to mention the toilet overflowing and waking up to raining in the kitchen.

    1. Molly, I wanted to write to you and Cindy but honest to pete with this concussion I could picture you but could not remember your names. How sad. I am sad without splashing you all. I hope to come back on Monday. But have gotten used to sleeping in and not shaving! Sounds like you have a big water problem at your house! Maybe a glass of wine would help that! Hope to see you soon! love Chere

  2. Chere: It looks like you and Gary have had the opportunity to practice what you preach to other people from your own very personal experiences. I admire you for admitting how you feel, but then going forward and remembering what you’ve told other people and changing your thoughts to the positive ones that will get you out of the bad feelings and into gratitude about the good things and experiences and good people you have helped.

    It’s one day at a time. Even with our favorite Packers, it’s one year at a time, and the Pack with be Back and win next year. You will win every day with Gratitude – from one Milwaukee native to another. I’m also a Great Grandmother as of Jan. 9th, but I haven’t seen Sailor Grace Gerten yet, as I’m teaching skiing in Steamboat Springs, CO and won’t be back until March 27th. (Just a positive plug for me at 82 glorious years). Nancy

    1. Nancy, so wonderful to hear from you. So super wonderful you are a great Gram! I love the name too! I want to be like you! You are my role model. Thanks for writing Chere

  3. Chere, I try to keep up with you by always reading your wonderful news on your website.
    So very sorry to hear of both you and your hub’s health issues however with your positive attitude you are getting stronger and well. Please know that I care and pray that you will soon be back to living life to the ‘hilt’ as you are known to do.
    Love you,
    Jenny H.

    1. POSITIVITY is the secret to happiness Jenny! We are constantly working on it !Happy day you wrote! Much love back, Chere

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