I “should” invite my neighbors over for dinner because I owe them.
I “should” have gone to a different college, maybe I would be earning more money.
I “should” have changed careers earlier instead of staying with the one I don’t love.
Today is your lucky day! Today we celebrate the Toss Away the “Could Haves” and “Should Haves”
Today is the day to divorce yourself from should’ve, could’ve and would’ve!
The problem with “shoulds” is that it steals away your time and energy from your wants and true desires.
Next time your to-do list is overwhelming and you are second guessing yourself, ask yourself, “Am I living in “shoulds” or “wants?”
- Shoulds are those things you think you ought to want.
- Shoulds are based on shame, duty or guilt.
- They are externally prompted (our ego, spouse, parents, peers, boss, society, etc.) or consequence avoidance.
“I should do this to be a good daughter!”
“If I do this, then “y” will happen.”
“My spouse tells me I need to….”
“I should lose weight!”
The problems with “shoulds” are that they make you feel like you are doing the right thing, yet they typically aren’t motivating enough to inspire change. This creates a state of continual dissatisfaction. The satisfaction in achievements is short lived. You can also start to feel resentful that you are not living your life your way.
How much of my life am I living versus how much of someone else’s life am I living?
What is one should I need to let go of?
Who is “shoulding” on me?
- Wants are internally prompted and those things that are important and fulfilling to you based on craving or desire.
- Wants to support your values and who you are.
- Wants create a quality of life.
- They are natural.
- They provide gratification. For example, you don’t need to exercise, but your quality of life plummets when you don’t exercise.
Wants can be motivating. Think…
“It is so me!”
“I will enjoy this!”
“I’m ready to have this!”
Wants are full of life and can be fun!
What do I really, really want?
Take out a pen and paper and write down all of your “could haves” and “should haves” and then throw them away.
Then, create this intention. “From this day forward I choose to live my life, not someone else’s “shoulds”. I choose to live in the present, not the past. I choose my wants. I choose happiness.”
What “shoulds” have you tossed out of your life?
We can’t wait to hear! Your happiness is waiting! So are your friends and family!