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Do You Know What The #1 Obstacle to Living a Happy Life Is?

Mom celebrating her 87th birthday. She always likes to hold hands in the pictures. How sweet is that.

Negative thinking.

If you are like me, you can over think and over think some more. For instance, I over think and dwell on the fact that my 87-year-old mom does not call me but she calls my sister Laurie.

My mom lives with my caring and kind sister, Michele. On the way home from my morning swimming class at Lifetime Fitness, I call my mom. I know it is a good time to reach her as it is not during her favorite TV shows (I think it’s still General Hospital). When the kids were little I called my mom every Monday and Friday from 7:45am to 8:00am. Back in those days the long distance phone rates increased at 8am. One Christmas, I even gave her a little crystal telephone with the note that she was my “telephone angel.” There is something special about a mother’s unconditional love and support. No matter what. No one else cared that Danielle got another Girl Scout badge or that Brett aced his spelling test.

My dietitian sister Laurie mentions that mom calls her.

One day Laurie mentioned mom called Laurie three times because she kept on forgetting things to tell her. Mom never calls me. I felt bad. I wrote Valentine’s cards to both parents and even wrote in their cards, “call me.” I never heard from dad. He is hard of hearing and does not like to wear his hearing aid so phone conversations are very difficult. I was so sad that mom calls Laurie and not me that I cooked up the plan that I would not call mom several times a week and see if she would notice the missing phone calls. I almost wanted to get “back” at my mom. Well, that lasted for two day. I brought up the fact that she calls Laurie and never calls me. I asked mom, “Why don’t you call me?” She said, “because you always call me.”  I felt like screaming, “you mean Laurie is not your favorite daughter?  You mean you like me as much as Laurie?  You mean you care about me as much as Laurie and the other sisters even if I know I push your buttons?”

What a simple answer. Mom does not call me because I call her!

My beliefs and wrong assumptions the last few weeks were robbing my days of joy, inner peace, and even gratitude. Everyone wants their mother’s love. Did she love me any less than Laurie? No. At this grand old age, I still desired to be treasured by my mom no matter what.

We like to make life more complicated than it is. Our beliefs are not a fact, just our belief. The problem is we get stuck on the same old negative beliefs that rob us of our daily joy.  Our thoughts become words and our words become action. So pick your beliefs that create your best life.

Another grand way to dump negative thinking is to become more grateful.

We cannot have a negative and positive belief or thought in our head at the same time. Whatever we focus on gets bigger and bolder. We can focus on what is not working or what is working in our life. We can focus on abundance or lack. So become grateful for everything in your life. Notice the beauty in your life in your relationships and in your environment. Remember why you are grateful for those special people in your life.

Decide today that you are no longer willing to have the consequence of negative and disempowering beliefs. Replace your negative beliefs with positive beliefs and be grateful for what has blessed your life.

Shakespeare reminds us, “Nothing good or nothing bad…it is our thinking that makes us so.”  The bottom line is you are what you think.  Make sure that you understand that your thoughts, words and actions in this very moment are creating your next one. Your life won’t change unless you change your thinking first.

Chere, Laurie, Michele, Michael and Rachele all love celebrating with our mom.

Call your mom! Life is not getting longer. You have one life to live, just imagine it was one you truly loved.

We can’t wait to hear your mom stories or how you have changed your beliefs to live a happier life.

Love Chere




6 Responses to Do You Know What The #1 Obstacle to Living a Happy Life Is?

  1. Cheri Warwick March 23, 2017 at 6:30 am #

    Such a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing such a realistic thing that happens to all of us. We all have those moments, but not all are willing to confront them, and let alone share!

    I too, recently had a good friend that wasn’t calling me. I always had to call her. It bothered me. Most people might just walk away from the relationship because of the hurt, but I valued it more than that. With courage (like you had with your mother!), I asked my friend about why she didn’t call. With tears, we worked it out, and our friendship will be stronger because of it. It was a small reminder to face my insecurities and get it out in the open. And ta-da! Freedom and joy was the result.

    I enjoy your inspiring and uplifting website. Thank you!

  2. Michelle March 23, 2017 at 7:18 am #

    I am so thankful for my mom. She has helped me with my two children over the past 11 years. She takes them to school, picks them up, listens to my struggles with my kids. Recently, last June, my mom and my 2 kids were in a car accident. I thank God my kids were ok but my mom had serious injuries, broken vertebrae in her neck and a lot of bleeding from a large laceration on her head. She was in a halo and in the hospital for 7 weeks. Thanks to God she is completely recovered and very soon will be able to drive again. I realized that I never truly showed my mom how important she was and how grateful I was to her until I almost lost her in that accident. You are so right Chere, our lives are not getting longer. We need to enjoy where we are and who is in our life as we don’t know what tomorrow holds. The morning of the accident I went to work like normal, little did I know that I would receive the phone call of the horrible accident. Now I don’t leave my house without saying goodbye and “I love you” to my kids and parents. I truly do make the best out of each day now.

  3. Jen March 23, 2017 at 9:45 am #

    Your mom’s smile is priceless in the last photo! What a great picture. You are an inspiration!

  4. Chere March 23, 2017 at 9:31 pm #

    OH Michelle ( my sister’s name) great that things turned out the way they did..you are so right..we never know how our life will change when we get up in the morning! My mom said waved good bye to her dad every single day. He came to eat lunch with her and Michele and Michael my twin sister and brother. And one day she did not wave..he died that afternoon of a stroke after lunch as his house 3 blocks away. I was 9 years old and vividly remember, Thanks for writing and taking the time to write. I am grateful for you. Gratitudes are the memories of our hearts Michelle! Love Chere

  5. Chere March 23, 2017 at 9:33 pm #

    Cheri (love your name) It is great to be honest and truthful and caring and kind at the same time. We can teach people how to treat us. It all starts with a question to get the conversation going. I am proud you had the guts to speak up and now look at you ..you have a richer relationship. I am so proud! Love Chere

  6. Chere March 23, 2017 at 9:34 pm #

    My mom would love to know you like her smile as she keeps on losing teeth..makes 4 in the last few months. I will share this with her Jen. Thanks for writing and always appreciating me! I cherish you too! Love Chere