Gary and I were excited to have the holidays behind us as I was extremely concerned about being with so many people and all the extra noise and light to deal with the concussion I suffered on November 20th.
Dark quiet rooms really helped and I was proactive taking naps. So different for me to lie down by myself when there are family members to talk to. Every home I stayed at turned off the televisions and refrained from playing any Christmas music. I am surprised that seven weeks later noise continues to give me a headache. On December 29th we received another “surprise.” Gary missed the last basement step while carrying down his physical therapy equipment and tore his quadriceps tendon, for the second time. He grimaced in pain as he lay on the couch but there was unimaginable pain when he realized he could not lift his leg off the couch. The pain of realizing he tore the same tendon knowing what the recovery meant. Surgery. Seven weeks of total leg brace. Physical therapy for 4 to 5 months. I played nurse-dietitian Chere-wife for a week after Gary’s surgery. Gary follows rules. When he is told, “ice for 20 minutes on and 40 minutes off,” our life is on a timer. We were also on another timer for pain meds every four hours. There were all kinds of timers going off. I would get confused and get the ice pack out of the freezer only to realize it was time for the ice pack to come off his knee!
During this time our favorite day popped up – January 2nd – our 33rd anniversary. I asked him what he wanted to do and he replied we could do two things – rent a movie or watch TV. I felt like crying, eating chocolate or drinking red wine. I wanted all three. A rarity…a Friday night anniversary and my hair even looked good for a change. But all he could do was lie on our couch. I announced to Gary that our life sucks. I prodded, “Gary does our life suck?” We missed Christmas and now we are missing the entire winter and were waiting for June! I begged him to say our life sucks. But no, just like usual, Gary never gets riled up no matter what. He just stared ahead and didn’t answer!
It took me a day of stewing. He told me later I was in a funk on our anniversary. I was actually enjoying constantly belting out, “Our life sucks.” I realized the more I thought about my life sucking the more it sucked. As a Law of Attraction coach I know what we focus on gets bigger and bolder. I got out of my funk when I realized I was nourishing my sucky life and attracting more sucky things. My sucky beliefs were creating my sucky life!
Shakespeare says, “Nothing good, nothing bad…it is your thinking that makes it so.” We both fell. We both got injured. Stuff happens to good people. We can be fixed. What you think, determines your life. Change your beliefs change your life! Try it you have nothing to lose but your old tired thoughts. Try it when you want to lose your sucky life.
Foot note…we are actually enjoying being home every night together. But I am really tired of NCIS and Hawaii Five O. He is enjoying time on the computer planning his summer raft trip. You have one life to live, just imagine it was one you loved!