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5 Steps to Discover Your Purpose and Inspire More Joy

Faces of Joy

The meaning of life is try to solve as much of the puzzle as possible before you die.

  1. Decide you want more. (More health, love, job satisfaction, time…) Your power is in your decision.
  2. Wake Up Question: What do I want? Think it. Ink it.   Get crystal clear on what you want
  3. Bedtime Question: What was my happiest joy of my day?  Think it.  Ink it.
  4. Create your plan, based on what you want and what makes you most happy.
  5. Every day do one daily habit to support your decision.


Life is a gift. Let me help you open it. I invite you to my annual FREE tele-class creating 2017 to be the best year of your life.

Join me Chere Bork, Energy Igniter and Certified Executive Wellcoach® for this FREE, tele-class and discover the keys to setting and achieving the goals you really want in 2017.

In this FREE tele-class you will:

  • Identify the goals you really want (and are most likely to achieve!)
  • Create your own personalized 3 Step Success Strategy
  • Get into action and create huge momentum to keep on going
  • Learn 4 easy ways to overcome any obstacle that arises

Isn’t it time to go for the things you really want in your life? The time is NOW!!

11th Annual FREE Teleclass:  Make 2017 Your Best Year Yet!

One Evening Session Tuesday, January 24, 2017  7 pm CST – 8 pm CST

Details & Registration here

Remember Mark Twain said,

The two most important days are the day you are born and the day you figured out why.

 

Can’t wait to support your year of your dreams!
Love Chere

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5 Ways to Kickstart Your Happiness

happiness

  • Realize that “I” is the Center of your happiness.
  • Be grateful daily.
  • Exercise or MOVE IT three times a week.
  • Focus on what is working in your life instead of what is not working.
  • Create daily  time for “planned spontaneity” 

I have never met an unhappy person who I could inspire to be healthier. You gotta be happy before you can attempt healthy!

Happy = Healthy!

What do you do kickstart your happy? We can’t wait to hear!

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5 Tips To Free Up an Hour Each Day for a Simplified Life

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“Simplicity is the essence of happiness.” –Cedric Bledsoe

Finally a holiday we all really need! National Simplicity Day is observed on in honor of Henry David Thoreau who was an advocate for living a life of simplicity.

 

5 Tips To Free Up an Hour or More Each Day for the Next Thirty Days

You need this hour to start thinking about how to simplify your life.

  1. Get up an hour earlier. This may mean you need to get to bed an hour earlier.
  1. Quit work an hour earlier and use that time to think about your life. Or start work an hour later or stay an hour later but only if you can have uninterrupted time to think about your life.
  1. Stop watching TV. Even if you think TV relaxes you. TV often clutters our minds with distractions more than nourishing our souls. Does TV nourish your soul?
  1. Do a news- fast for a month and stop reading the newspaper.
  1. Be mindful of what you schedule for after work social gatherings, coffee dates and drinks. Schedule yourself instead!

Remember, as Robert Brault exclaims, Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

Post on social media using #NationalSimplicityDay to encourage your friends to join you.

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Empathy: The secret to being understood

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Photo credit: www.ekgtechniciansalary.org

Valentine’s Day is a memory. The chocolate is eaten and the cards are tucked away. Memories gift the cherished people in your life an everlasting gift that beats even the best dark chocolate! Read on.

Thirteen months after my concussion, I continue to struggle with loud noises. After 5 loud songs in aqua aerobics class, I asked the teacher to turn down the music. She replied, “Ok, but everyone else is fine.” I wanted to scream, “So why don’t you care about me?”

I had an ingrown hair on the back of my neck that turned into a cyst that needed to be removed by a plastic surgeon. To prepare for this outpatient surgery I had to take my shirt off. I told the plastic surgeon I am freezing in here. His reply was, “I like it that way.” I wanted to scream, “Why don’t you care about me?”

I had been having this strange toe pain. The podiatrist thought I may have a Morton’s neuroma which sounded like there were minimal treatment options and cortisone shots. I exclaimed, “This sucks!” The podiatrist stated, “I have had mine for ten years.” I wanted to scream, “I don’t care about your toes! Why don’t you just care about me?”

What was missing in each and every interaction? EMPATHY! Empathy is respectful understanding of what others are experiencing. Empathy can calm, validate, and honor people.

Unfortunately, empathy is not a fixed trait. It is a skill that must be mastered. Although I must say some people, like my web designer Stephanie Hofhenke, my sisters Michele Barney, and my friend

Gaye Lindfors, exhibit empathy and I love being around them.

 

Empathy requires emptying our minds of our stuff and focusing our full attention on the other person’s message. We need to listen with our whole being – our body, mind, and soul and give the other person enough time and space to express themself and really feel understood.

Marshal Rosenberg developed a model for Non –Violent Communication and says have a “fix it” or “helper” mentality gets in the way of empathy. Rosenberg identifies these other behaviors that get In the way of empathy: advising, one-upping, educating, story-telling, shutting down, sympathizing, explaining, correcting or interrogating. Allow others the opportunity to fully express themselves before turning your attention to a solution.

 

When We Try to Help

When we proceed too quickly to what people maybe are requesting, we may not convey our genuine interest in their feelings and needs. They may get the impression that we are in a hurry or we just want to fix their problem. Remember the initial message is often the tip of the iceberg, which is often later expressed with more powerful feelings. When we are quiet and listening we are allowing them to fully explore and express themselves. How do we know empathy is working? The person usually stops talking as they have felt fully listened to and understood. Wow!

 

Key Elements for empathic acknowledgement
♥ Does not interrupt

♥ Does not give advice

♥ Does not change the subject and talk about your own plans

♥ Does not voice disapproval of the other

♥ Tunes into others communications (what is being said, and their feelings)

♥ Listens with your head and your heart

♥ Focuses on what the other person is saying and the meaning it has to them

 

Source: Empathy, Listening Skills and Touching Another Heart by Dr. Lawrence J. Bookbinder

rosenberg model

We are responsible for how we feel. No one else is responsible for how we feel. If our values are stepped on, we experience negative feelings. The connection between people is the key. Honesty and empathy are keys to the connection. Sympathy focuses on my-self. Empathy means we care about the other person.

 

There are two formulas:

♥ Expressing = when you are talking

♥ Empathizing = when you are listening

 

 

understanding

 

EXPRESSING FORMULA — SHARING ABOUT ME

 

OBSERVATION

When I see / hear________________

 

FEELING

I feel_______________

 

NEED / VALUE

Because I need_______________

 

REQUEST

So are you willing to_____________??

 

EMPATHASIZING FORMULA — FOCUSING ON YOU

 

OBSERVATION

When you see / hear_______________

 

FEELING

Are you feeling______________?

 

NEED / VALUE

Because you need / value______________

 

REQUEST

Do you want me or yourself to_____________?

 

 

Here a few examples to show you how to use this formula and get your needs met. The request must be an opened question not a closed question and must avoid “why” as it puts the other person on the defense.

 

“My boss is negative”

Observation/Event

You talk to me about our unhappy team members

Feeling

I feel frustrated that people may think I am contributing to their stress.

I don’t feel listened to.

Need

I have a need to be acknowledged and be heard.

I have a need to accomplish.

 

Request

How will you acknowledge and focus on what I have accomplished in addition to what I have not accomplished?

How can you provide me respectful understanding? (empathy)

How will you back me up and give me your 100% support? (What action will you take? How will you show this to me?)

 

“Husband wakes up wife when he comes to bed late”

Observation/Event

When you fall asleep on the couch and then go to your office and come to bed at 2 am, I wake up and I can’t get back to sleep. 

Feeling

I feel angry and tired the next day. 

Need

I don’t feel respected. I have a need for respect.

Request

What can you do to help me get undisturbed sleep starting at 11 pm for the next 2 weeks until my half marathon?

 

 

“Boyfriend makes comments that make me feel judged by him”

Observation/Event

I accidentally scheduled an evening with you and my friend. When I made a mistake, you casually stated, “Way to go” implying that I really messed things up. 

Feeling

I feel judged and sad when you say, “Way to go.”

Need

I have a need to be liked and to please others. 

Request

In the future what can you do to help me when I accidentally double-book an evening?

 

“We are living together unmarried and it bothers me”

Observation

We have been together two and half years and have both expressed our love and integrated our whole lives together with all of our kids and yet we still have not tied the knot.

Feeling

I feel sad and have a sense of uneasiness like I am waiting to move my life forward and become the next part of me. I’m not single and I’m not married…what am I?

Need

I have a need to be acknowledged and for commitment.

Request

How can we together create the financial plan to buy the diamond?

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Listen without interruption. Refrain from solving problems before asked and most important put yourself in their shoes. And ask for what you need using the four step formula. It works like magic. You teach people how to treat you. Remember the best things in life cannot be seen or touched, only felt! I can’t wait to hear how you give and receive empathy. Here to help!

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5 Ways to Say Thank You

I always love to shower my gratitude on Michael, my only best brother who takes parents of our parents. His four sisters call him Saint Michael.

I always love to shower my gratitude on Michael, my only best brother who takes parents of our parents. His four sisters call him Saint Michael.

  1. Say thank you with your eyes

Create eye contact with people and really connect with the gratitude you have for them.

  1. Create a daily gratitude ritual

List 3 things you are grateful for, say a daily prayer, light a candle, send one email a day to someone, or tell someone you love them.

  1. Write a letter

Write a letter when someone does something really great or exceeds your expectations. Tell people how this person went out of their way to help you or touched your life. (I always ask them to give them a raise!)

  1. Create a happy day for a child

Give a child the gift of your time and create a special day or a few hours just for them. It can be easy as taking them to a coffee shop and talking or playing a game. Start the time off by asking, “What is best about your day?”

  1. Create a list of people that make your life brighter and easier

Make a list of people that give your life sparkle and glow and if they were not there your life would be a little more difficult.

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Holiday Energizers Questions

 

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Life would be grand if you could create the holidays just the way YOU want them. These five questions may give you a fresh start to really enjoy the holidays and do what matters most!

  1. Are my expectations realistic for the holidays?
  2. Am I putting too much pressure to have a perfect holiday?
  3. How can I create a sense of “go with the flow?”
  4. Who can I share planning and preparation with?
  5. How do I balance my needs and the needs of others this holiday season?
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