Stop and Smell and Savor the Tomatoes

I used to dream of having lots of kids and lots of money. Fifty years later I don’t have either! Funny, that I didn’t dream about being happy – maybe I took happiness for granted or maybe I was happy and didn’t know it. Last week I told Gary “just in case I die I had the best summer of my life.” As always he just stops what he is doing and looks at me when I start a sentence with “just in case I die.” I am sure he never even thought about having the best summer as I really believe he creates every summer to be his best.

What makes this summer so different? I didn’t even go on a vacation. I traveled to Milwaukee and slept in two of my nephew’s beds with lots of stuffed animals. It was a “sister summer” – Rachele and her family came to visit in July and Michele and her kids in August. No vacation but why does it feel like I am on vacation every single day? Why am I so happy? Then it hit me. I am living in the present. In May, I started to “really swim” (really swim means my head is under water and I wear goggles and swim laps.) There is something magical about feeling my breath, looking down seeing the blue bottom of the pool and hearing the gift of stillness. As I swim I remind myself how lucky I am that I can swim, have this pool, can take time during the day to swim.

I realized I am savoring. Savoring is defined as any thoughts or behaviors capable of “generating, intensifying and prolonging enjoyment.” * Savoring is a quality that scientists have studied and found that naturally happy people savor more. You probably have savored a great glass of your favorite wine, a quality piece of dark chocolate or your first cob of succulent corn dripping in butter. In the moment you totally and completely immersed yourself in the taste, feel, smell and richness of them. There are actually three types of savoring: in the moment, in anticipation and in hindsight, which you can use to create more happiness.

In the Moment: My daily in the moment savoring includes my daily “garden tour” before I start coaching or swimming. I pinch off geraniums and basil, pick a few cherry tomatoes, and purposely pinch off some tarragon or a tomato leaf, rub it on my hand and smell it. When I drive in my car I have the window rolled down, the radio off and feel the breeze and listen to my thoughts. At a stop sign I stare at the passengers in the car next to me and wonder if they are happy and where they are traveling to or from. What do you do to purposely live in the moment?

In Anticipation: I’m anticipating my niece Nicole’s wedding in October, a car trip with my bridegroom this fall and hiking in the Colorado mountains. Talking to my mom or mom in law. Every day I anticipate family dinner at 5:30. I noticed all of my anticipations are with people. What about yours? What do you anticipate in the coming month or two?

With Hindsight: My mind’s eye pictures – the Grand Canyon when I rafted the mighty Colorado River. Extra savory thoughts of my trip to Spain and the Mediterranean Coastline of Spain where the water, buildings and flowers look like a movie set. My favorite all time favorite memory is sitting on Grandma Lily’s little white rocker in her kitchen and listening as she sings us Polish songs. (After we ate a delicious breakfast of eggs fried swimming in bacon grease!)

As fall approaches I will look back and cherish the family times at the Minnesota Twins games, the Torchlight parade and family dinners on the deck.

Savoring does a body good. Studies say that people who anticipate create an element of positive thinking and actually experience profound changes in their bodies with reduced levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

The ability to savor the positive experiences in your life is one of the most important ingredients of happiness. When you stop and “smell the tomatoes” instead of rushing by them you step out of your frenzied state and become aware of your blessings. Savoring studies have also shown that people who are more inclined to savor were found to be more self confident, extraverted, gratified and less hopeless** Confident! I’ll take more of that! All of my clients want more confidence. Savoring provides a confidence in your decisions and commitments.

We think life is about the big moments. But really the little moments are the big ones. Come for a visit . . .I have lots of tomatoes.

Call to Action: Savor Savor Savor Today! Tomorrow it may be too late. I invite you to share how you savored on the Taste Life Blog. With a smile in my heart I type! Chere!

*Savoring: A Model of Positive Experience. Fred Bryant and Joseph Veroff (2006) Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.

** Bryant (2003), ibid.