Taste Life Blog

Memorial Day is almost here. Summer! Yes! Summer is synonymous with cabins, boating, and eating, eating, and more eating. What if this summer your good intentions to get fit or have a healthy diet really became reality? A healthy diet isn’t about not eating your favorite foods. It all starts with your beliefs and your choices.

Linda, a 90 day life makeover coaching client, hired me to lose twenty pounds and wanted to start playing tennis again. Her short term goals included developing strategies to eat right that worked for her and her family. Her long term goals were to reorganize her house, lose fifty pounds without being on a diet, develop a coaching business and plan regular vacations.

She discovered that she could eat by choice not chance. We created small weekly goals for fitness, nutrition and stress. For example, eating protein for breakfast, eating 2 veggies a day, and going on a walk a day. With these small changes Linda happily lost weight and felt she was in charge of her life EXCEPT for her neighbor’s cupcakes. “My neighbor brought over 6 cupcakes from a fancy cupcake place. The frosting tasted like a stick of butter and it was not worth my calories.” Yes, our environment is stronger than our will. If I had cupcakes with butter cream frosting sitting on my kitchen counter I would eat them all. My genetics are “wired for butter.” I remember my mom telling me about Uncle Jack who liked to eat sticks of butter dipped in sugar. I adore butter! I used to sneak it on my toast under my peanut butter until three year old Danielle would ask “What are you doing over there mom?”

People are not mind readers. No one knows what you think until you tell them. I taught Linda a technique called non violent communication which helps you ask for what you need from others. You state what you are observing in the situation and how you feel. You express your need and then make a request in a gentle, caring and kind way. Remember, the number one tool that can change your life is a question.

Observation Situation: Neighbor brings over gorgeous, mouth watering, high calorie cupcakes and you just lost twenty pounds.

Feeling: Identify your feeling: I am feeling frustrated as I am trying very hard to lose weight and when cupcakes are in the house I will eat them.

Personal Need: Identify your need: I have a need for respect.

Request: What question do you need to ask?

Example: The conversation with the neighbor could go like this.

(Observation Situation) I appreciate you thinking of us and bringing over these cupcakes. I have lost twenty pounds and know if they are in the house I will eat every single one of them.

(Feeling) I feel so frustrated trying to eat healthy with high calorie foods in the house.

(Need) I have a need for respect.

(Request) Will you please stop sending treats over to our house?”

Non violent communication is a way of relating to ourselves and others through an awareness of our feelings and personal needs instead of blaming or judging others. You identify the situation and how you feel then express these feelings based on what you need. Remember the number one tool that can change your life is a question. There’s an old saying, “Ask and it is given.” Won’t it be fantastic to celebrate connections with people this summer and honor your personal needs for health and well being at the same time? You have a choice and it all starts before the food gets to your fork! Happy Summer!

Please click to download a Non – Violent Communication Template and more Non Violent Communication Real Life Examples.

My 24th Mother’s Day – my favorite day of the year

We always celebrate with a brunch. This year we ate at the St. James Hotel in Stillwater, MN.