Taste Life Blog

I never forgot how I felt the first time I heard, “Chere you are waaay too happy.” Have you ever heard a comment by someone that took your breath away (and not in a good way). Relationships can oxygenate our lives and make us thrive or stifle us and take our breath away.

Back in 2007, even health care professionals were shocked when the New England Journal of Medicine* published the results of the research that studied 12,000 people over 32 years and showed that your chances of becoming obese were not necessarily tied to your sleep habits, your exercise or even what you eat (these do play a giant, giant role), but rather the key predictor were who your closest friends were. The study showed we are 171% more likely to gain weight if our closest friends gain weight even if they lived miles away. Dr. Nicholas Christakis, the principal investigator in the study stated, “You change your idea of what is an acceptable body type by looking at the people around you.”

Have you thought about your social environment and its influence on your home, work and entrepreneurial life? Many researchers have studied the emotional contagion theory. Wikipedia defines emotional contagious as the tendency to catch and feel emotions that are similar to and associated with those of others. Knowing how to use the power of social support and recognize how other’s moods can maximize your wellbeing. And we know focusing on your wellbeing is the secret to happiness and productivity. And everyone wants to be more productive.

There are many social contagion studies. A study of college students who spoke to each other for twenty minute phone calls that that if their mood was neutral at the start of the conversation but the other person was depressed, their neutral mood shifted to depression by the end of the call.
Studies at the Arlene R. Gordon Research Institute found that marriages that feature copycat emotions with depressed, burned out, or bored partners exerted a huge pull on their spouse’s moods. When one spouse is depressed, the other one is more likely to report the exact feelings.

Positive emotions are just as contagious as negative emotions. Remember your favorite boss, he or she probably rallied you with non-judgmental leadership and fueled your behavior with positivity. On the other hand “BMWers” (“Bitch Moan and Whiners”) can drain the team’s energy and ultimately success.

Are there black holes in your life?
First decide if your relationships are “black holes” – a term coined by researcher and psychologist Marty Seligman. Caroline Miller in her book, “Creating Your Best Life” suggests tracking your time every two hours and note who you are talking to on the phone; who you are with or even engaging with via email. Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 5 on your well- being, with 1 being the worst you can feel and 5 being the best you can feel. At the end of one week you will have a great idea which people constitute the “black holes” and “bright lights” in your life.

Second, here are five ideas for you to foster contagious happiness and grow your life.

1. Limit BMW time. When you notice that you or someone else is complaining, label it “BMW time.” Complaining feels good and complaining with a group of people almost feels “party like,” but limit to five or ten minutes.

2. Each week send three to five thank you notes or thinking about you notes to colleagues, family members and friends. Make the note personal and identify their strengths or gifts.

3. Start a master mind group of your friends or colleagues to support you to reach your goals. Find three others who share your values and general mission in life and meet once a month either via in person or via a conference call. Watch the enthusiasm and energy multiply.

4. Ask questions. Patricia Fripp worldwide known NSA professional speaker states, “The key to connection is conversation. The key to conversation is questions.” Questions will grow your life and your business. Avoid asking “why” as it puts others on the defense.

5. Be interested not interesting. Show up and get to know others. Make it more about them and less about you. Dale Carnegie advised readers, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.” I often ask people how can I add value to your life?

You have the power to make someone’s day or break someone’s day and vice versa. People may forget what you say, but they will never forget the feelings your words evoked in them. You have the power to make lasting memories. Happy words are worth so much and cost so little. Look out you can be happily contagious! Better get busy so you too can be “waaay too happy!”

You have one life to live, just imagine if it was one you truly loved.
What are you waiting for?

Love,

Do you work with positively happy contagious people? How do they brighten your day?